Being back in Virginia requires one thing...owning a car. I do not have one at the moment but hopefully in the next week I can become a car owner once again. The lack of transportation lead me to think back to Brooklyn. I never needed a car in Brooklyn and when I did, I would just use Zipcar. Why can't every city be like them? You can take the train everywhere. So I began to think about my crazy experience in Brooklyn. When I think about it now, I still shake my head and I can't believe I ever lived there.
It all started November 2009 in a bar in Brooklyn called Barcade. I was sitting next to my then significant other and we were just visiting his peoples for a couple of days. We thought this place was so cool but we lived in Virginia. How could we just get up and leave. But we wanted to! for different reasons.
5 months later....we're parking the moving truck in front of our new pint size studio apt in Bushwick. He knew some people. I knew none. On top of that, I had no job. I just quit my 40k a year job, left my apt and sold my car...because I wanted to live in NYC with him. I act the fool every time I fall in love.
But if you've fallen off the horse as many times as I have, it's no thing to get back on and become a better rider at love. That's what she said. What can I say? I'm an eternal optimist.
2 months go by and no job yet. I have never felt so depressed, anxious and literally terrified to leave my apartment. It was a bad time and I closed off most of my feelings and just hinted at some sadness and not a deep well of depression. I cried so many times while I was alone in that apartment.
God, just let me make some friends and get a fucking job?!!
Prayer answered just not exactly what I wanted. Beggars cannot be choosers especially in Brooklyn. It's mad expensive yo! I fell back into retail and biggity bam I'm making money again and going out to bars like it's part of my job. In the process, I met some sweet people that would later become people I just couldn't live without. I did what any other newbie would do and walk all over Manhattan and took pictures of the usual New York touristy delights. Once the honeymoon phase is over, you remember you still need to make a living. Here I was, living in Brooklyn among hipsters, bitching about retail with my fellow soldiers of customer service and coming home to a dude who liked me.
4 months later...heartache happened and we went our separate ways. I still remember he gave me a six pack of PBR and a pint of Ben n' Jerry's ice cream to make me feel better about the break up. It didn't quite work. I moved into a new apartment within a week with my friend and another girl. I was single in the city but not like Carrie Bradshaw at all. My ass was broke like a bad joke. I got into a new routine...work, bars, friends and the exploration of the ghetto I lived in. My neighborhood wasn't too bad. It was constantly moving with squeals of the J and M trains passing by, Christian hispanic men yelling into a microphone trying to convince me that Jesus will save me, sirens of ambulances and police cars and most of all the constant sound of people talking. I would always pass by a conversation and catch it at a weird part of the story. Uh....I don't want to know about yo' baby mama drama. I just want to work on my Suduko puzzle on the train in peace. My headphones and iPod were a Godsend.
The best part of my neighborhood was always walking back home with my friend Jenn and discussing our daily fucked up experiences living there. She was my go to girl for everything. I cherished every whacked out and insane discussion we ever had in our Bushwick apartment. There were many late nights sitting in our living room eating cheese, crackers and sharing some wine or beer.
There are other friends I met along the way that provided me with the support I needed during this tough time. I was trying to rebuild a new life while living in the city of madness. If you spent time with me, you know exactly who you are and I love your existence.
We're friends on Facebook so it's official and everyone knows. haha fuckin facebook.
I also had so many drunken conversations at Floyd or Last Exit with my nearest and dearest friends. One conversation lead me to my recent trip to New Orleans. At some point, I just began to document all my fun and experiences with my red digital camera. Poor thing. It's on its last legs but she still works surprisingly. Here I was at 28 years old living in a city where no one ever gets old. The party can go on forever if you would like to. I went to everything my time off and little money would let me go to. I could be on 3 hours of sleep, work an 8 hour shift and stay out till the next morning. I have no kids, just a cat and he's fine as long as I feed him. I finally felt like a cool kid. I never felt like that before. I was the quiet well-behaved, super shy girl who did everything she was told to do. FUCK THAT.
I boogied, shimmied and rocked on because during those times I just want to let loose and enjoy this fleeting moment of fun. No worries! I hung out with like minded folk who were down like James Brown just like I was. Hey Luna.....you wanna partaaay? Let's party.
While I was there, I made some out of the city trips. I went back a couple of times to see my mom and my sis in Virginia. I took a 8 hour train ride to Niagara Falls to see my girl Burd and even took a plane to Puerto Rico with two girls of the same name. It was also such a nice feeling to leave the monster of Brooklyn and get a moment of zen in a quieter place. However, every time I came back I fell back into the BK roller coaster. A monthly pass costed 104 dollars. I dug it for awhile until my bank account was like "Nah gurl. This shit ain't rolling well with me. Yo ass is walking!"
So I did. I walked everywhere I could within reason...meaning 3 miles. Over the Williamsburg bridge, the Lower East side, Crown Heights and all over Bushwick. I would walk to work every day for 3 miles and to save money just buy a pass for the trips back home at night. I wasn't about to get shanked dude. I got to know my borough a lot better that way. After awhile the distance never bothered me.
Brooklyn offers you everything and you can be whoever you want to be there. You can dress however you like, lead your life as you see it fit. I never experienced so much freedom as I did in Brooklyn. But alas, all good things must come to an end. I grew tired of the constant noise, my job and my routine. All this time I thought I was a city girl when in reality I longed for the suburbs and the country once again. Go figure?! There she goes, changing her mind again! I missed Virginia and everything I grew up with. It's what I know so I wanted to go back.
When telling friends that you're leaving Brooklyn the usual response is - But how could you leave? Nooooooo!
Sad responses lead to one raucous farewell party. It took me 2 days to peel off all that candy off my sticky floor. And on my last day in Brooklyn, I still found hidden beer bottles in my room. wtf? LOL
I was leaving for my state of mind and also knowing deep down inside that I wanted to grow up and steer my life into a new direction. Don't get me wrong. There are adults in Brooklyn. They do exist. I just know know myself too well and I would stay in limbo if I didn't leave. Plus unless I made it big with the monies, I couldn't afford a house there. I want a house, big backyard with a shack in the back with space. I want lots of space. I'm that kind of girl. I always move, I always need space and I always want to explore new things. Even the greatest city I've ever lived in couldn't keep me tied down.
I loved and hated every experience I had in Brooklyn. I do not regret anything I did and I would do it all over again as it happened. Sure I lost a boyfriend, but it's all good understood! You need both the good and the bad to happen to you. You cannot have one without the other. Life would be so boring if it was one dimensional.
So many crazy things happened to me while I was there, that sometimes I don't believe it happened to me. But it fuckin did. Fo Sho. The people, the places and my genuine reaction to all of it. Which can be entertaining and amusing to my friends. I recommend everyone to live in Brooklyn. I barely went to Manhattan well because I liked Brooklyn a lot better.
Brooklyn made me less afraid of being myself, my idiosyncrasies and all. I'm glad I went and left.
